Sanity is overrated
by SocialWallflower
Summary: Finnick is a doctor for people with mental health problems, he's good at his job because his easy charm and winning personality but then one day Annie Creasta arrived. She seems to be immune to his charm. Finnick becomes attached to her and her to him. Cato, a fellow doctor, has made the acquaintance of Peeta, a patient, who he has unwanted feelings for. Will they grow?
1. Chapter 1

**Story:**

**Finnick is a doctor for people with mental health problems ,he's very good at his job because his easy charm and winning personality . But then one day a girl is admitted to him who refuses to speak to anyone. She seems to be immune to his charm and doesn't accept his authority as a doctor. Finnick becomes attached to her, even if she doesn't seem to like him, and strives to find out what's wrong with her.**

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

Finnicks POV

'Good morning Finnick!'

"Good Morning , Delly! How are you today?", I asked with an beamed smile.

Mornings were always like this, we would exchange Hello's and I am always a bit flirtatious , as I am to everyone( man or woman)

"Better now that you're here and now I can look at your handsome face all day",She reply's with a high pitched giggle.

I'm not trying to be mean to her or anything but her laugh and her squeaky voice runs right though me like nails on a chalkboard;Delly is a pretty girl with a great personality but that _voice_. I asked if there was any gossip and she just blabbed from there, meanwhile I was signed the check-in sheet and seeing what patients I have today until I seen something...

"Delly , when are these new patients meant to arrive and why wasn't I told sooner?". Now I was getting mad , I'm never told anything around this place.

She looked puzzled, "Well... I was told to pass the imformation to Katness and she told me she'd tell you so it wasn't my fault."

Now it makes sense Katness is always like this, why is it always us who have the most work but is told the lest. I stroll through the name of the workers that are in today and BAM! There she is! Time to die Katness Everdeen. I flashed a grateful grin and murmured a goodbye before I went for the kill , if I knew Katness ,which I do, she will be in the garden. Many of patients love the garden we also have a pool for water therapy which I instruct from time to time.I love the water too, when I was only a little boy my father (who was a fishermen) taught me how to swim along with how to fish , when I got older I was the captain of my High-school's swim team; we won so many championships I lost count. When my skin soaks in even a droplet of water , I feel the joyful feeling of serenity.I know it sounds crazy , which is ironic regarding my job, but it's no lie meanwhile as I scan the area I spot katness furiously scribbling on a pile of forms. My curious look began to change into a glare as I trudged towards her, I stopped in front of her however she was completely oblivious to my presence.

"Uh-Hum!", I coughed loudly, her face snapped up with a started glance but quickly fell tired.

"I Know, I know! Oh Katness", she said badly mimicking my supposedly 4 year old british girl's voice, "Why didn't you tell me about the new arrives?".

"Correct," I reply in a sacassely proud voice,"Now , explain."

"I forgot , simple enough , right?" She stated casually. Seriously !? How can she act like this ,God!She is so annoying sometimes , how does Gale put up with her? Gale is one of her best friends even though everyone knows he loves her but as per usual she doesn't notice.

I give up , I sunk down beside her and gave in, "When do they coming in?"

"Um...?", she glances at her watch. " Now", she pointed to the on coming mini-van

She started to rise slowly with a stretch, she motioned me follow her. We made are way towards the hospital, I just don't care anymore really just fuck it!

As we walk up I look down on my patients list, out of sheer curiosity, at the top is a girl called 'Annie Cresta '.

She has schizophrenia=

Positive symptoms represent a change in behaviour or thoughts, such as hallucinations or delusions.

Negative symptoms represent a withdrawal or lack of function which you would usually expect to see in a healthy person. For example, people with schizophrenia often appear emotionless, flat and apathetic.

But it also says this is just a therpy because she is completely mute, sad girl, she's about my age maybe a bit younger that doesn't mean I can't win her over with my Finnik Odair charm. Katness and I take one last look at the mini-van and that's when I see her. This girl must be her even though she is squirming out of the mini-van she has her eyes covered by her bangs. Suddenly , like she sensed our presentation she shot a glare like a snipper at me, her eyes set fire to mine that produced a anrgy snarl.

I don't know why but a smile creeps onto my lips , This will be _very_ interesting (hopefully).

**Thanks for reading please like , follow and favourite and don't forget to comment.**

**Please tell me if it's good or not and some advice**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

Chapter 2

Finnick's POV

Right after the Mini Van arrived and everyone was in the Hospital, we had to make introductions (_Yay!)_.So the usual bunch come along :

Cato, a guy with a stern face and a rough attitude he uses the straight forward act on his patients which is quite affective next to come along was Clove. She's a surgeon one of the best actually when that girl picks up a caliph, _Damn!_ To others it's only a job however to her it's an art. There's some other girl with red hair and fox-like facial features so everyone just calls her FoxFace ( None of us know her real name).She works as a Pharmacist , her remedies are usually like herbal remedies and such but they do work a charm.

Gale Hawthorne the guy that is in love with Katniss, he works with the kids with special needs. Gale is very talented he's determined and good-natured which helps when you work with kids. This other chick Glimmer , she's sorta good-looking if your into the whore look (which many people think I do)and she's okay at her job, now that I think about it what is her job? Finally last but not least my best friend Johanna, she's a bit crazy and threatening people a lot saying she's getting to slice them like Jack the ripper with her hatchet and _Yes!_ She has a hatchet but she's cool none the less. We met the first day in collage and were best friends ever since, people thought we were going out in collage but that's a disgusting idea she's like a sister to me. We are also roommates as-well , people think it's weird but we learned to adopt.

"S'up Fins!", She says while jogging over , she gave me that nick name in collage. She compares me to a fish because I swam so naturally and so often also because you can shorten Finnick down to Fin, I guess?

"Hey Jo! Did you hear about about the newbie's coming today?"

"Yeah I did everyone did, don't tell me Katness forgot _again?_", I gave her a _what do you think _look and she sighed wearily.

I nudged her,"What's your batch look like ?", I asked

She flicked through her clipboard of paper work "Um mm...", She finally found it and mouthed a 'Got ya'.

"Some drunk guy named Haymitch Abernathy, who is trying to suppress a traumatic memory or something though drinking , you know the everyday stuff". She says while scanning her clipboard. I explain my patient 'Annie Cresta to her and her situation .

She starts chuckling loudly, "So are you going to use your Finnick Odair charm on her sorry ass ?".

"You make it sound so ugly , you know Jo?", I say push her playfully. We all have to wait in the staffroom for Seneca Crane, the Head Doctor of all the departments in the Hospital. It's a pretty big responsible being in charge of all of the Hospital. The Capital as it's called is of pretty high stranded we get new equipment like every other week even through most of us don't know how to use it . It's pretty pointless but it also means that are paycheck are high , which I have no complaints about.

The double doors swing open to reveal Seneca himself . " Okay ! I have to make this quick", He drops the files in his hands with a loud thump on the table in the center. " Everyone has at least two new patients but to be warned they are ex termly difficult to handle , so tread carefully.". His beeper goes off, He sighed in announce. He told us to get are files and to leave before he rushed out , I search for Annie Cresta. Supposedly I got some dude Gloss (stupid ass name )who has D.I.D he's not that difficult he only has one other personality, his sister apparently Cashmere. She isn't violent but she is temperamentally extremely so , she screams when she doesn't get what she wants which is quite funny coming from this tank of a man. However the one I'm really interested in is that Annie girl however I don't know why? It's probably just curiosity.

Cato's POV

When I got my files I flicked though them I got a girl about early twenties named Effie Trinket, she suffers from Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD it basely means you think you look different than what you really look like. This Effie girl also has Bulimia nervosa but everyone knows it as simply Bulimia a basic eating disorder where a person would eat loads of food and then vomits. It's pretty common with teenagers but just by looking at her picture you can tell she wants to be one. I also have this other girl Enobaria who has the same thing but she has progressed tremendously so I only have to take care of her for a week and she's done which is pretty stupid because why transfer someone who is leaving in a week.

As I leave the staff room to check them out and introduce myself, Enobaria should already be in her room cause Effie has to get her med's with FoxFace. _Take a left then right and straight _Room 509 , the room's normally have the patients name on the door but I guess they haven't got it done yet. As I open I introduce myself while looking down at her file still scanning it.

" Hello , I'm Cato Hadley pleasure to meet yoooooooo..." I trail off , my words and heart stopping all because I see the most beautiful person in my life. _OKAY WHAT!? _In front of me is a boy around 18 – 19 sitting in a white over sized T-shirt and striped bottoms, he has blond wheat coloured hair and baby blue eyes staring confused at me. He has his head tilted slightly , lips pursed looking incredible cute.

" Excuse me", His voice quite as a mouse. " Are you my new doctor?". He stands up slowly , facing me.

" Ummmm... No sorry, I'm not. I must have taken a wrong turn I'm horrible with directions" I say rubbing my neck in embarrassment giving an awkward half smile, across the room I hear an adorable giggle. I see him with a small smile on his face, I am in awe of this person _why I'm I acting like this ?!_I shake my head trying to think straight.

" Sorry , it's just strange to see someone like you behaving so..." he says , he looks at me like he's trying to find the right word, " odd."

He blurts out, " Not in a bad way like a good way. An amazing good way , a cute way. No ! Wait not a cute way! … 1, 2 ,3 ". He breathes out quickly , looking flustered and with a blush on his cheeks.

I'm a bit taken back myself , I mean _come on! _A adorable boy calls me cute and blushes because of me. Okay Cato you need to be professional about this , I clear my throat.

" It's okay , what's your name ?"

"P-P-P-Pee-ta" , He smiles sweetly " Peeta Mellark".

The name suits him, I extend me hand towards him, " Well , Hello Peeta Mellark I'm Cato Hadley".

Peeta gives me a bewildered look and slowly gives me his hand. It's small and soft yet rough like an artist's hands , I don't want to let go but sadly every good thing must come to a end. When I loosen my grip, he doesn't I look at him and I can see the desperate look in his eyes .My free hand slowly crept towards his left cheek , slowly ,so slow-

"Hello , Mr Mellark I'm Mrs Everdeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Cato, What the hell are you doing here?" Katness looks at me lazily. I'm so pissed right now but -

" Yeah sorry Katpiss took a wrong turn and found myself here ", I hate Katness she always acts better than everyone else and she's a bitch , she already knows I hate her also she hates me.

She signed deeply, " Then get out he's mine". I feel Peeta flinch that's when I realized I'm still holding onto his hand; I give him a tender look and reluctantly let go tearing us apart. Peeta softly whimpers , I whisper a good bye to him then I turn towards the door.

" Goodbye Cato", Peeta quietly replied before I twisted my head and give him one last smile. He looked so torn as I closed the door , I finally let out a sigh of relief . What was I doing?! Thank god I stopped when I did , I was about to do something I wasn't going to regret and that was the worst thing.

He's a patient , he's vulnerable and I shouldn't take advantage of a cute , beautiful bo- _STOP! _I need a distraction , I need to force on work not on him. Just then I noted that Enobaria 's room was _right_ next to Peeta's then it darned on me that this is going to be very hard but I have to put on a straight face and deal with it.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

Chapter 3

Peeta's POV

My hand still feels warm like his hand is still around it , embracing it. I haven't felt another person in year's other than to stop me from hurting people, yet the way he looked at me.

"Cato", I whisper to myself I can't help but smile. I shouldn't be like this I'm a monster , a pure monster no one can love me or even care. Just like her...

"Sorry about that idiot , he doesn't know when to stop." The women says in a light tone. How dare she! Cato is amazing! Yeah, I've only known him for less than ten minutes but that's all I needed. Just by looking into his eyes and shaking his hand I knew he was different.

" Don't you dare!" I spat, " I'll kill you if you say another bad thing about him you bitch !" I try to suppress my anger, _STOP IT PEETA!. _I want to punch her square in the face but I can't go mutt not again, not like last time...

" Wow , I'm sorry I didn't mean anything bad. I was just playing about and he's really not that bad but he hates me for some unknown reason, anyway enough about him. I'm Ms Everdeen but you can call me Katniss."

That's what they all say ' but you can call me' like we're special and it's personal however it's not it's stupid. For me they're all just simply called Doctor because I have been moved so many times , seen by so many doctors that they're all a blur to me.

"So Mr Mellark",I hate how people treat me like I'm just a paycheck not a person before today no one ever asked my name or even shock my hand they were all too scared. But Cato … he introduced himself , shook my hand; looked at me with care not fear.

" Let's get started."

I wish I could see him again but he's a Doctor and I'm just a patient also I'm a monster.

Finnick POV

Now I get to meet this mysterious Annie Crest in room 421 , hopefully she has calmed from when I saw her last. When I reached her room I pressed my ear against the door to make sure she wasn't screaming her head off. I push the door open and slowly reveal her hastily rocking back and forth, muttering and murmuring things softly. She has one hand rapped around her knees and the other clawing grimy at her head jabbing her fingers through her tatty brown hair that reaches the small of her back. The dark mass of hair enveloped her small body still shaking like a time bomb at the point of explosion.

" Hey there , I'm Mr Odair but please call me Finnick " I say with a wide smile. I faintly hear her repeating something, I make my way towards her the noise getting loader with every step.

" Please , please , please " She repeats in a drone voice again and again, her voice cracking.

" Leave me alone , Please. It's not real , you're not real."

" Hey Miss Cresta", I reach out slowly while walking towards her. Cautiously stepping forward, I accidentally hit my foot of the leg of her steel bed creating a load bang. She snap her head up harshly , her eyes dripping like water seeping through broken glass.

"Help me , Please", She looks so helpless. Annie quickly stumbles to her feet, running back into the far wall making her groan in pain. Her breathing is heavy and raspy, her eyes rimmed red from crying started to narrow and fill with venom , she started to slowly bear her teeth.

" Why won't you leave me alone!", She barked at him. Shaking her head side to side.

" Ms Cresta , I'm not here to hurt you I'm here to help." I try to reassure her and it isn't working too well. I can't even get a word in edge-ways which isn't going to help either of how I'm I suppose to use my 'Odair' charm if she doesn't even listen to me.

"Hey, its alright I'm here to help you Ms Cresta." She won't stop shaking and murmuring to her self. "Please Annie?, please."I peddled. She suddenly stopped talking and sniffed curiously at the air, Annie lightly pushed off the wall. She hummed in approval ..._what the hell? _A small smile creeps to her face. In a strange way she was glowing, the sun light was leaking through the windows giving me a clearer look at her face. Annie Creasta was pretty, yes she was covered in cuts , yes she had matted hair and yes she had dirty hands caked in mud? I think but she was pretty non-the-less.

"Where are we? Can we go to the beach?Please?", Annie asked. She looked at me with such a cute pout and her voice is laced with hope and I really don't want to say these next words but I have to.

"I'm sorry, Anni-I mean Ms Creasta I can't take you to the beach no. I'm sorry I really am."I feel horrible. Well I always do when I have to say no to a patient like: when they ask to see their family or to go home. But this was different I think it was because I wanted to go aswell, I'm not just saying no to her I'm saying no to myself as well. How did she know there was a beach nearby? I asked her and she said smiling proudly Finding the bed , lowering herself onto it.

"I can smell it , the salt I mean", Now that I think about it I can smell it too, "and I can see it through the window, I may be sick but I'm not blind."She laughed a hollow laugh, tucking her knees into her chest and rapping her arms around them sitting in the position I found her in. Her laugh makes me feel even worse, I look through the double windows.

"You are a very lucky girl Ms Creasta , I wish I had such an amazing veiw to look out on", From here she could see the swimming pool , the large yard with the beautiful multi-coloured flower beds to the woods that encircle the border of hospital. At the end of the yard the grass started to turn into sand and there was the sand stretching til it met the blue sea. It was truly magic.

"When I was younger, My dad and granddad use to bring my sister, little brother and I to the beach back home it was so tough me how to fish and tie notts and everything , I miss them so damn much". Annie speaks with a far off look in her eyes, I want to talk on but I have to get back to work and give Seneca my first impression of Annie and how she was.

"So I have to ask you a couple of questions it's pretty boring. Sooooo How about 20 questions?"I asked with a cheeky smirk, wiggling my eyebrows; it always helps me with the ladies.

"No"

Ha, works everytim-_ ?!_ She said no? I stand there in awe. I never expected to have my first no from someone in a blue almost grey coloured hospital room, with a girl who looks she has just been pulled through a bush backwards. Never in my life have I ever been told no by someone except my parents, especially a women. Patient or not.

"No straight questions, no straight answers that's how this works", She states coldly.

"How what works?", I am totally confused right now.

"This " Annie gestures the space between us, "Because I know what you do Mr Odair with your false sense of trust and that smile or grin I should say. If you don't act straight with me, I won't act straight with you but I will say one thing that is true."

"I hate fakes so from this point on I hate you."

She stands from her bed and opens the door for me with a pretend smile on her little face. Annie Cresta has left me speechless I still have to get her to answer some questions but I'm too flabbergasted to even say a word. I slowly make my way to the door, knowing that I should leave her I need some time only as well. When I stepped outside the entrance I calmly turn to face her and just when I has about to open my mouth she slammed the door rapidly in my face, I stumble back. As I walk outside to get some fresh air my mind repeats what just happened not so long ago with Ms Annie Cresta. I find a bench far from the actual building of the hospital. What I'm going to do with this Annie Creasta, she won't answer me or treat me with respect , she laughs at me and is infuriating but when I think back, I can't help but laugh. She is going to be harder to solve than a broken rubix cube. However one thing that doesn't make sense is that she is suppose to be mute but she was talking to me actually she was lecturing me. My mind is racing, maybe she isn't even sick however she looked in way to pain to faking and why would you what do you have to gain. Annie also says she hates fakers, _this doesn' t make sense... _

_AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!? _This is so annoying, I've never had a patient like her ever. How I'm I going to get my work done, I have to tackle this problem with a different approach. The classic 'Finnick Odair' charm won't work she wants the real me. So I have to admit something to myself that I never have before …

I'm scared.

She won't like the real me.


	4. Chapter 4 (All Cato POV)

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

Cato POV

I have seen him again today.

In the garden with a girl,(I think she's one of Finnick's patient Ann or something?)

He looks good, not like _'Oh that boy looks good' _but happy. However he always looks really good with his big blue eyes which shine so brightly just like his golden hair which radiates in the early afternoon sunlight. Oh and his smile makes everything brighter, he's is currently speaking with Finnick's girl and I can't help but be jealous of her. I wish I could be her walking, talking, laughing with him it's really quite laughable. I don't know the first thing about this boy but I want to know everything about him so badly. Ever since I met him I can't stop thinking about him, I also want to ask Katniss about him even though I hate her so I think this is getting bad. Katniss is suppose to be looking after him but it looks like is she currently talking to Gale instead, fiddling with her braid. Arrrrrrrrr! Katniss always does what she wants, that's way I hate her so much.

I'm sitting at the window overlooking the garden where Peeta is, I'm currently tagging along with Effie in the Day room : where our patients come to socialize. To see her behaviour and see how she is settling into the hospital. All she is doing is bouncing around the room and chatting to people five thousand times too fast for them to understand. It's pretty funny also kinda nice to see a patient so happy because I have no idea what to do with ones who aren't, it's really pathetic in my line of work. It's been about a three days or so since the new arrivals came and Effie is fitting in just fine but the whole time all I can think about is Peeta. How is he doing? Is he enjoying himself?

Does he miss me?

Now that one shouldn't be there, I really hate myself for feeling this way. I've always seen him but only at a passing glance or from a distance, I haven't actually spoken to him since his first day here. I'm still staring at him, just thinking away and I don't notice him glancing at me from time to time when he's talking to Finnick's girl. The next time he looks around our eyes meet and a blush rises to his cheeks, this makes me smile. I keep up eye contact, propping my elbow on the desk I was writing at and resting my head on my hand, tilting my head. Peeta smiled at my attempt at a sweet gesture. He laughed mutely and playfully sticks his tongue out. I pretended to act hurt by clutching my heart, he replied with a fake sad face tilting his head mouthing a 'Poor you'.

_Oh those lips..., _I shake my head to get rid of the thought. I check the clock over the entrance of the Day room, it's about time to get Effie back to her room. I look back at Peeta and mouthed that I had to go, he looks truly upset about it, so I pack up my stuff rather slowly still trying to keep an eye on him. I call Effie and she gathers herself, saying her goodbyes. Then we made our way to her room were I had to go over her daily routines, mediations and how she was doing today.

However I still have Peeta's low-spirited face at the back of my mind.

"Dr. Hedley, is everything okay?" Effie asked, I guess she must have noticed that my head isn't in the game today.

"Of course, Effie. I told you call me Cato, please. I'm just tired today, Seneca has us up to our eyes in paperwork. So you better be getting better so it can stop."

" Arrr! I'm trying! Couch." She whined childishly. Like she was in a cliché sports movies.

We share a laugh, it's good that we can laugh and have fun talking about her condition. She knows it's a problem and she is also wiling to work hard to solve it, I've only met her a few days ago but I'm already proud of her. The whole Seneca thing isn't a complete lie. I'm really tired I couldn't get any sleep the past couple because of all the paperwork and thinking of the whole Peeta situation. I really need to stop leading everything back to him. Effie and I chit-chat a bit more and I learn that she loves fashion, celebrity gossip and just gossip altogether but the last one I already knew. I ask her if she knows any of the other patients that came here with her from last hospital .

"Of yeah, course I know Annie, Enobaria. You already know her obviously and that boy Peeta." She tells me with a grand smile. If she knows Peeta maybe I can get some info on him.

"Oh Peeta... he's one of Katniss's patients, what's he like?" I attempt to sound casual. Trying not to sound like a teenage girl talking boy talk with her.

"Well, he's really sweet also really funny when he's all sassy," I laugh at that, I would love to see his sassy side. "He's an amazing artist. He and I always use to design clothes together, I tell him what to draw and he draws it perfectly. Wait! I think I have our collection here somewhere." Effie hops off her bed and looks through her draws at her bedside cabinets. Pulls out a folder covered in different colours and has massive letters drawn in different fronts spelling, ' Teacups &amp; Trinkets'. Underneath in smaller text it said ' designed by Peeta Mellark and Effie Trinket'.

"Peeta painted the cover and Teacups &amp; Trinkets is the name of our line. Here! " She thrushes the folder into my hands. I examine the cover more clearly and it was amazing, the lettering was in three colours. The first line was in a Heliotrope type of purple, the next light pink and finally gold to finish. It was beautiful all designed in a 'script' kinda way. I could see him now sitting at a fold-out table in the Day room with Effie, smiling and laughing with her while his small hands craft each smooth letter. I open it up and am greeted with bursts of colours, all of them were beyond stunning creations. Now I'm not the kinda guy who cares about clothes or fashion and I hate people dressing me up but if Peeta picked my clothes I would be more than willing to let him dress me up. Not in a sexual way. Well...maybe.

I have to say some stuff was quite flamboyant with vibrate colours, frills and odd patterns. One even looks like a peacock made with feathers and everything however some were quite down to earth. I suspect Peeta thought of these, they were male clothes, some gave off a kinda innocent, cute geeky look that I can imagine Peeta wearing. Others were more of a bad boy look with leather jackets and ripped jeans. _God... _Everyone of these outfits I can imagine Peeta wearing, he would looks so good in all of them.

"These are amazing, he must be a great guy. Do you want to go meet up with him today, you two catch up and continue this." I would really love to see the process of making these clothes.

"Oh my gosh! Yes I would love to. I have so many new ideas! YAY!" She squeaked happily, jumping to her feet and rushing to the door.

"Before we can meet up, I have to talk to Katniss to make sure it's okay." Effie agreed and I went to find Katniss. She was probably with Gale outside, I see her beside the rose beds. Playing with a rose and laughing with Gale, still. Where is Peeta anyway?I look left and right. I eventually find him on his own, pulling the petals off of a daisy with a little smile on his face. _So cute._ As I walk closer to them, Katniss see me. She stands to meet me and so does Gale, she turns to me crossing her arms over her chest.

"Now what do _you_ want?" Katniss greeting me with the same fondness as always.

"Great to see you too, Katpiss. My patient Effie Trinket is friends with your patient Peeta Mellark, she wanted to hang out for a while. Do you think Peeta is in a okay position to do so?" I asked. I sneaked a peak at Peeta as he perks up at the offer.

"Well I think so... he's been fine with everyone except for me."

"I wonder why, it must be your over friendliness that scares him off." I interpret. I hear him scoff quietly.

"Ha Ha, I think he'll be fine but you have to over see the whole time because I'm not doing it." She leans in closer and whispers to me.

"He freaks me out a bit. I always think he's going to bite me." I was taken-back a bit. This is Katniss Everdeen. This girl is usually scared of nothing but all of a sudden, this beautiful boy comes and she is _scared?!_ It's pretty funny. I look at Peeta who is still playing with a small misshapen daisy and back at Katniss then back at him.

"Well... Cato can look after them and I can take you to see Prim and Rue they would love to see you." Gale suggested to Katniss.

"Are you okay with that Peeta?" I walk up to him and crouched beside him. "Effie wanted to run some of her new designs by you. She showed me your previous work, they were truly amazing."

I see him cheeks turn red and he ducks his head down embarrassed. He mumbled a 'Thank You' and said he would love to go see Effie. I suggested that we'd better go now because she was waiting for us inside. He brushed the grass off his trousers then we made are way to Effie; I asked how he was.

"I'm doing fine, it takes a while to adjust to new surrounds but taking with people like Annie, really helped. I've know her ever since I was in our old hospital. The staff are quite friendly too except for Katniss, I just don't like her but there is one person that makes up for her." He explains. I don't really know who he's talking about but I hope that person is me, even though it's a bit far fetched. The way he was looking at me while saying that also gave me some hope.

"I was just wondering, why were you on your own? Wasn't Finnick's patient with you today?" It was sad that he was on his own, playing with a little daisy having to listen to Katniss and Gale flirting.

"Oh, you mean Annie? She had to leave with Finnick, she was super hungry. I don't mind being on my own anyway also I had to think over something that Annie said to me." Peeta's voice was trailing off with every word. We reached the Day room and as we walked through the door, Effie basically jumped Peeta nearly knocking him down. She was sitting on his lap, straddling him playfully and I'm sad to admit that I once again was jealous. But looking at them now she looked like a child waking up her dad on christmas morning but I was still a bit jealous none the less. Peeta couldn't stop laughing, and was trying to calm Effie down because she was talking way too fast and nearly screaming at him excitedly. Then she got up and walked to the the table still talking on, never even noticing he was still laying on the ground. I gave him my hand and he takes it without a second thought, I think my hand had a flash back of the hand shake Peeta and I had at our first meeting. Is that even possible?

" Thanks" He said.

"My pleasure."

Oh and it was.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

**If you get a bit confused about the reason why Peeta calls Katniss, 'doctor' or 'my doctor' instead of her proper name. Is because he has had so many before he couldn't be bother learning hers.**

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Chapter 5

Peeta's POV

I don't like my doctor at all, but I don't know why though. She just reminds me of some bad times which got me in this place but it's nice here none the less. She isn't a very good doctor she just wants to get things over and done in the quickest way possible. We're in my room and I was taking my meds while she was flicking though her planner. I asked if I could go outside because it was stuffy in here even though it does have a massive window and is pretty spacious but I just hate being alone in a room with her. She said we can just walk about the gardens. I met Annie on the way and we started chatting about the hospital and things.

"So how's your doctor? I hate mine she gives me a bad vibe like you know who." As I tell Anne this my doctor meets this tall guy with brunette hair, they seem really close.

"Finnick, my doctor, totally annoying. He does that whole charming gentlemen act and you know how much I hate liars." It's true she hates people like that, she's like a living lie detector. I think it's because she has always enjoyed observing people. Annie always wanted to find the difference between us and them, them meaning the sane people. She still hasn't figured it out yet I think it's just a lost cause but if it keeps her happy.

"Oh and I think he was trying to flirt with me too, gross. He's a doctor and I'm a patient it would never work anyway."

Listening to her reminds me of my relationship with Cato, if I can even define it as such. I dreamt of him last night just like the nights before. It was when we were in my room and when we were holding hands, he slowing cupped my face in his hand. I turned my head and kissed his palm then he leaned in and we kissed, it was sweet and passionate. I wish it was real but _**she **_had to ruin our moment and I don't even think Cato likes me or is even gay for that matter. I've always know my attraction for guys but I've never felt anything for them not like I do him. Every time I think about him my heart beats so fast and when I see him, if only for a second, I forget how to breathe. You know the way in songs or poetry everything about the person you love is romanticized and is in such detail, that's how I feel when I see Cato. But life just hates me and I hate it, every time I have something good it gets taken away from me. My childhood, my brothers and now the only guy I ever really began to _like _like, it's pretty sad that I talk like a twelve-year-old when talking about my feelings. I'm not good with expressing myself with words, I would rather paint or write a poem conveying my feelings for them.

Annie is still babbling on but I have to ask...

"Why?"

"What? Why what?"

"Why can't a relationship work between a Doctor and patient, why?" I'm basic peddling at this point, I want a straight answer. I need the truth.

"Peeta, when people look at us they have two looks. 1.) A look of pity and 2.)A look of fear. Doctors are no different, that's all people do is fear and pity those who are different."

I understand that completely I'm greeted with that look everyday by people like my doctor but Cato wouldn't do, that would he? When Annie changes the subject I'm still lost in thought I glance behind me and I'm shocked by what I see. The dreamy in all his glory, I had to take a double-take to make sure I was just imaging it but no it was him. Sitting in a room full of people but only looking at me, I wish I could just swim in his beautiful eyes but I can't not after what Annie said. God! I don't know what to do! And I don't want to come off as a weirdo so I only seek glances from time to time at him. This lasts for a few minutes until suddenly his eyes lock on to mine and I'm hooked. Oh, what he does next makes my heart flutter. He puts his elbow on a desk, puts him head in his hand, tilts his head and smiles at me.

He looks at me like I'm a work of art and the only thing in his world, I wish I was. I can't help but laugh because he looks like a love drunk teenager giving me a cute gesture like that and I try to playfully sick out my tongue to look cute but I probably look like an idiot. God I'm so bad at flirting. Cato pretends to act hurt and clutches his chest and I reply with a poor you. He shakes his head and turns away. Oh my God did I do something wrong? Does he think I'm disgusting? Oh no I'm freaking out, I don't think I can breathe. I'm such an idiot, how could I even think that someone as perfect as him could even look at a monster like me. Annie was right.

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!

Suddenly he looks back at me and mouths a ' I gotta go' to me. I let out a deep breathe, so I was freaking out over nothing as per usual but still...

I don't want him to leave, just him being near me is enough to make me happy. Cato takes his time packing up his stuff and I feel like it's just rubbing salt on the wound.

Annie is still taking about something, she doesn't talk much to people so when she's with me she lets everything out.

"God, I'm hungry. Are you? We could get something in the canteen, if you want?" She asks. I look over at my doctor, who is still talking with that guy and I don't think she wants to move and I don't want to anger her. So I shake my head, we say are goodbyes. As I watch her body slowing fading from my eye line, I think over what she said to me.

_I think he was trying to flirt with me too, gross._

_He's a doctor and I'm a patient it would never work anyway._

_Peeta, when people look at us they have two looks. 1.) A look of pity and 2.)A look of fear. Doctors are no different, that's all people do is fear and pity those who are different._

I guess she's right but I don't want to except it, I can't. Cato is the only thing good that I can hope for and hope is the only thing stronger than fear. It's kinda nice to have something to look forward to as well it's been a long time since I woke up with a smile on my face. I see a little daisy on it's own beside my feet, I pick it put and start to twiddle it between my fingers. I look around me to make sure no one is looking so I can do something really stupid. I pull off a petal.

_He loves me _

I pull another.

_He loves me not._

And another.

_He loves me._

Also another one.

_He loves me not._

I do this for a while because a daisy on average has maybe 30 up to 54 petals. It doesn't seem that long because all I can think about is Cato, I've realised that thinking of him takes up most of my time but I'm not complaining. This also gives me something to do while my doctor flirts with that guy, I think his name is Gale? He's okay looking I guess but after setting eyes on Cato no one is as beautiful.

_He loves me._

_He loves me not. _

As I'm plucking the petals off the crumbling daisy I peep up, I see Cato walking up towards me or should I say the she-devil. Okay, now I'm sorta freaking out. Does my hair look alright? I put deodorant on today, didn't I? I see him come closer while the sun makes his hair look like glowing strands of gold all spiked up, I think I'm blushing; I know I'm smiling like an idiot. I stare at the small misshapen daisy in my hand, I'm on my last petal now. I hear her get up and she starts talking to Cato or should I say being bitchy to Cato.

"Great to see you too, Katpiss. " I love that nick-name he gives her, it makes me like him even more.

"My patient Effie Trinket" Oh Effie, I like her, " is friends with your patient Peeta Mellark, she wanted to hang out for a while. Do you think Peeta is in a okay position to do so?"

I'm interested now. I can go see Effie, get away from my bitch of a doctor and maybe spend time with Cato. It's a win/win/win situation.

"Well I think so... he's been fine with everyone except for me." Huh, I guess I have. I never noticed...

"I wonder why? it must be your over friendliness that scares him off." I cover my mouth trying to hold back my laughter. I can see Cato smile a bit too.

"Ha Ha, I think he'll be fine but you have to over see the whole time because I'm not doing it." She leans in closer to Cato, I want to rip her away and shout ' mine'. Also now I can't hear her, is she saying bad stuff about me?When she's done whispering whatever it was to him he looks at me for a moment with a shocked expression on his face. Then to her and then back at me. What did she said?!

Suddenly that Gale guy says, "Well... Cato can look after them and I can take you to see Prim and Rue they would love to see you."

"Are you okay with that Peeta?" Cato directs to me, he's asking my opinion no one ever does that. He comes closer to me and crouches next to me. My heart is going crazy and I can feel his hot breathe on my face as I turn to him. "Effie wanted to run some of her new designs by you. She showed me your previous work, they were truly amazing."

I can feel cheeks turn warm and as I duck my head down bashfully, no one has ever payed me a complement expect for my brothers and friends but when Cato complements me. It means so much more.

"Thank You'" I say quickly and quietly. I clear my throat, " and I'd love to see Effie."

He smiles at me," Come on then she's waiting for us in the Day room. She is really excited to see you."

I nod and brush the grass off his trousers, as we make our way to the Day room he asks me how I was doing at the hospital.

"I'm doing fine, it takes a while to adjust to new surrounds but taking with people like Annie, really helped. I've know her ever since I was in our old hospital. The staff are quite friendly too except for Katniss, I just don't like her but there is one person that makes up for her." I explain. I REALLY want him to realize it's him but I'm too freaking scared, I need to grow a pair as Annie says. We are silent for a moment until he asks why I was on my own because I was with Annie earlier.

"She had to leave, she was super hungry. I don't mind being on my own anyway also I had to think over something that Annie said to me." My voice trails off as I get lose in thought again. I think her words are going to haunt me. We get to the Day room and before I can even set a foot inside the place Effie basically jumps me knocking me down. She's sitting on me, straddling me not in a sexual way. I close my eyes because of the pain of falling and with the pressure on my hips I start to imagine Cato straddling me_** in **_a sexual way_. _That would be so god damn hot. I snap my eyes open and start to laugh at Effie instead on getting a awkward boner. It was nice to see her again but I needed her off _**now**__**!**_ I tried calming her and myself down because I think we are both getting a little bit too excited.

Effie got off eventually and skipped to a table without even giving me a second thought, typical Effie. Suddenly I see Cato giving a helping hand up to me and of course I take it no questions asked. Right then I remember the first time I felt his hand touch mine and by the looks of it he can too.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." Oh it was mine too.

He was the one to let go first again, sadly but I am graced with a perfect view of Dr. Hadley's ass. Now I'm not an expert on ass-ology however I can guaranty you that, _that _is a amazing backside. He turns back to me. Gesturing for me to follow him, I made my way to the table where Effie was and it looks like she had everything I need, watercolour paints, oil pastels and my pencils.

"So Peeta, I think I have everything here and don't forget the. . . " She pulls them out from under our folder.

"Gel pens" We chant together. Effie looks at me and I can't hold it in any longer, we burst out laughing. Cato looks at us both weirdly like we're crazy, which is ironic. He opens and closes his mouth which is in a permanent smile.

" Umm am I missing something, here?' He asks.

When Effie calms down she starts to explain, " Oh yes, it's kind of a inside joke between Peeta and I. The first time we meet was pretty funny, we both had to do this group art thing together with a bunch of other patients. So when we started I was given a pack of gel pens, one second they were the next they were gone. I start looking for them and when I finally found them they were in the hands of another, Peeta to be precise. I was so mad that I full on screamed at him and told him why it was wrong to take things with out people's permission. So every time we create some new designs we _**always**_ need gel pens. It's like a tradition."

"Yeah I remember I was so scared I nearly pissed myself and for that day on you have always been looking after me like a mother. No! Like a cool aunt but you still scare the creap out of me when you're mad." Effie and Cato laughed. I felt somewhat proud of myself for making Cato laugh, I look for a chair to sit on because there isn't any more at the table. Cato must have noticed my trouble and got up of his chair.

"Here take mine"

I protested at first but he insisted so I eventually sat down. I thank him as I sit down, it's warm also he pushes in my chair which is super gentlemanly and I blush madly.

"So unbelievably cute "

I see that he's looking at me while saying that, is he saying that _**I**_ was cute? Effie gives him a strange look. He clears his throat.

"Um I mean that little thing you do, it's pretty cute" Oh now I get it, makes sense but I still can't help but frown. I wish it was me however I don't think I could be defined as 'cute'. I'm too scrawny to be anything other than below average.

"Why thank you Cato, darling" Effie says.

"Oh so you call each other by your f-first names?" I'm weirdly jealous of her for being able to do that, I don't think I've ever addressed Cato as anything but Dr. or Mr. Hadley. Only in my head and I did the first time we met but that was only because I was so happy however after he left my doctor said that I shouldn't address doctors with their first names because it was improper of a patient. Bitch. They both looked at me funny and laughed, I feel my cheeks burn.

"Of course we do," Cato replies, with his amazing smile. " And you're allowed too, please it would be a privilege if you call me by my first name." I nod shyly. Suddenly his smile dropped. " Why do you ask anyway? Did Katniss say something to you?"

I shake my head, way too quickly. He raised a eyebrow at me and I slowly start to nod. I tell him about what she said to me the first day here about addressing doctors. While I told him I could see his face change into a scowl.

"Fuck" I could barely hear his comment escape between his gritted teeth. I feel a little happy that he cares so much but I'm a little scared too.

" So shall we begin, my lovely's" Effie announced worriedly. Cato and I agreed, we started to design some women's wear first. Effie says she was had a Masha Reva inspirational bomb go off in her head or some time ago. Sometimes I got a sharp pain in my chest when Cato comments on the girls stuff saying that 'this would make her boobs look way bigger' or when Effie asks if he would find a women sexy in some clothes and he agrees. For some reason every time he does Effie gives him a strange look and smiles at me, it hurts a lot; Then she asks a question that I'm dying to know the answer too.

"So Cato do you have a girlfriend?"

I stop what I'm doing and direct my full attention on listening to his reply, he doesn't answer at first.

" No, not at the moment" I let out a breathe I was apparently holding.

Effie asks another question, "Boyfriend?"

"No!" He shouts a bit to quickly. I jerk up my head in surprise at his sudden outburst. " Umm... I mean no. I'm not in any relationship at the moment. Why are you asking Effie? Trying to snuff out the companionship." He saves himself wiggling his eyebrows, being jokingly seductive.

" Oh no not me, I have a friend who is interested. Peeta knows who it is." Effie winks at me. I am so embarrassed how did she know? Was I that obvious? Cato looks at me shocked for a while and I try to play it off cool. When Effie has to use the bathroom is when everything turns even more awkward. Every time I open my mouth I immediately close it because the words I was about to say die in my mouth. Why can't I talk to him, it's not that hard just open my mouth and say 'Hey good-looking, you know I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.' Okay maybe not that but something at least. I stare blankly at my page in my new notebook for a few moments until an idea struck me. I scribble a little note saying 'Hi' in my best handwriting with a little smiley face and pass it to Cato.

I cover my face with my hands because I'm too scared to even look up encase he thinks I'm a weirdo. I'm lost in though thinking about the many ways he could rejected me until my train of thought is interrupted. The page I wrote on is now in front me, I turn to face Cato and he is staring straight at me with a dazzling smile. I turn back to the page to see that there is an other person's handwriting spelling out and ' Hello, nice to hear from you' which is also paired with a smile face. Oh my God, this is so embarrassing adorable and I blush so hard that you could grill bacon off my face. I write a reply to him:

'You realise we're not technical talking, right? :)'

'I know but it's still nice to hear from you even if it's just writing. Why won't you talk to me anyway are you mad at me? :(' He writes.

I take take my eyes off the page and cast my gaze on him instead, my look softens. He smiles at me joylessly scratching the back of his head. I didn't mean for him to feel bad, I was just to embarrassed to speak encase I would say something stupid.

'No, you didn't. It was just what Effie said.'

When I pass it back to him, he looks at it then back to me with a strange look. Cato scribbles quickly on the page then passes it to me.

'You mean that person who may be interested in me, why? Do you know who it is?

I give him a 'you've got to me fucking kidding me' look. Before I get to write back to him Effie comes back into the room accompanied by my doctor. Shit, I can even see Cato getting annoyed by her presents. My doctor calls me over and says we need to leave because her shift is over and she has to get today's notes written about my behaviour and such.

"Really Katpiss do you have to do it now?" Cato, growls. He's tone of voice makes shivers go down my spine.

"Yes now. Why did I interrupted something?"

We turn our glazes towards one an other and my heart gets lodged in my throat, the way he looks at me makes me just want to lean over and kiss him. " No," My stomach twists at his remark, " You didn't. It doesn't matter." He starts to rise from his seat and so do I. "We'll see you soon, Peeta"

"Yeah" that's all that I can muster. Effie also says goodbye and gives me a big hug with a tight squeeze. My doctor then orders us to leave now I go with her until I remember, "Wait!" I rush back to the table and open up the page with the conversation Cato and I were having on it. I still didn't get to reply, this is a massive shot in the dark but I have to try so I write my answer, fold the page.

"Peeta what are you-" and put it in Cato's back pocket so no one could see.

I interrupt him, " Open it later, in private." Before I leave I graze my hand over his letting every one of my fingers touch his. I hear him stuck in a breathe and nod, I smile gratefully a him. I turn back to leave for my room and I can't help but feel his eye's still lingering on me. When I step out the door and turn for my room, I sneak a peek at him. He is actually blushing with a big goofy grin on his face. I did that, YAY!

Maybe pulling that daisy gave me some good luck and maybe it was right.

_He loves me. . .? _

Cato's POV

Today has been like a dream, a crazy amazing dream. First it was helping Peeta get a seat by letting him have mine, which I hoped really scored me some points, I think it did because I got rewarded with an adorable sight of a red cheeked Peeta. I was so mesmerized that I never even hear the words come tumbling out of my mouth, thankfully I redeemed myself but playing it off as if I meant something else but I was a little troubled that he still didn't get the hint. However when Peeta mentioned the whole first name bases thing I was a bit worried that Katniss was saying some mayor bullshit about me to him but I don't think so because when I told him it would be a pleasure to have him call me by my first name; Peeta smiled so wide that it brighten up his whole face.

When both him and Effie started their designs and I couldn't take my eyes off Peeta and his hands. His face was so hypnotizing yet delightful, his eyebrows were slightly scrunched up and the tip of his tongue would peek out from time to time from between his pump lips. Oh, he looked so sexy when he done that all I wanted to do is push everything off the table and ravish him that very moment but sadly I couldn't so I tried to detract himself. Every now and then I gave a comment for a dress or two saying how sexy a women would be in it or something positive just to make Effie feel better but every time I did she would give me a weird look.

Then all of a sudden she asked if I had a girlfriend, I answered truthfully saying no although it was strange I never knew Effie thought of me in that way. Next she asked if I had a boyfriend, I immediately thought of Peeta, I responded with a loud 'no' which I said way too fast. I try to just laugh it off and play it as a joke which I think Effie gets but I don't know about Peeta, she claims that it wasn't her that liked me it was someone else plus Peeta knew who it was then she winked at him. Okay, in that moment I thought I was crazy how could he like me like that, no she must be joking, yes it must have been a joke however when I look at him his face is beet red confirming that she was right. My heart was beating a thousand miles per hour and I was in disbelief, it was true, he has feelings for me; romantic kind. While I'm lost in my own mind I hear Effie announce that she needed to go to the bathroom and that's when everything became silent, I hadn't the slightest clue on what to do all I could do is stay quiet while I think of what to do.

As I'm doing so I see a notebook in front of me, opened on a clean page with a message written on it. I prier down at it and am surprised that it has Peeta's beautiful handwriting on it spelling out a 'Hi' and a smiling face. Oh God I'm so thankful that he broke the ice first, we pass the paper back and forth for a while until a big question came up. I asked who the person was that Effie was talking about and said he knew, but of course I knew who she talking about, I'm not that stupid. I just need him to tell me himself or at least write it because I may have assumed wrong. Just after looking at my question he gives me a strange look, okay, now that's when I got nervous all I could concentrate on was his hand and his answer. He was about to put pen to paper until Effie came back with Katniss, Fuck you Kat-bitch. She basically waltzed in here and intimidated Peeta to leave right away not giving him time to reply to my previous question.

I was more than disappointed I was crushed and gridded into dust, that was me, my question would never be answered all hope gone until Peeta came back scribbled something on the page then folded it up. I questioned him on what he was doing and he answered by putting the page into my pocket discreetly but not just any pocket my back pocket. I hold back a moan that was bubbling in my throat. Oh, Peeta you cute little tease.

"Open it later, in private." Before he left his hand softly touched mine, his fingers placing kisses to mine. I hold my breathe, this is pure torture what he does to me but I don't want it to stop. My voice is gone so all I can do is nod and the smile he gives me makes me forget everything. That I'm a doctor and he's a patient, that we are both men, that I have to hide. Unfortunately he has to leave and I'm left alone even though Effie is there, that's how I'm beginning to feel when Peeta isn't there, alone. The rest of the day is a blur because all that I think about, all I want to remember is Peeta's note so I decided to read it at home.

Home for me is just a place to eat and sleep, my life is dedicated to my job. Yes, it has furniture and my belongs but it never felt like a home, you know? It felt more like somewhere to live. I take off my jacket and dump my bag down, ready to start my nightly routine. First take a shower, walking into the shower or should a say wet room which is basically a shower but with no doors or curtain. I turn the water on and strip off my clothes to step in. My showers are usually quick, in and out but today I want to take things slowly try to figure stuff out between Peeta and I. It's funny how we haven't even kissed yet and never the less I can't get him out of my head he is always there, in my dreams, the back of my mind and now. He's so incredible and beautiful, he takes up all my time even though I have thought of him in mostly innocent circumstances right now I need to just let go. As the shower gets hotter so do I. I take my shower gel and slowly start to caress my chest down to my firm member, my hands becoming his hands as close my eyes. As my eyelids are covered I begin to see him face, his lips, his tongue. My stocks mature into more rapid ones, producing moans of pleasure eventually I even dare myself to say his name out load,

"Peeta" My voice hoarse, I say his name like a promise, an oath. I want him to be happy, I want him to be mine, I want . . . him. My legs start to shake as I reach my climax I whisper his name once more before I can finally breathe properly again. I haven't jerked off since I was a teenager, it's funny how Peeta can also make me feel young even doing the most erotic things. I wash myself well before getting out and changing into my pyjamas as I pick up my clothes I suddenly remember the note. I scrabble to find my jeans which are discarded on the bathroom floor, I retrieve the small square of paper and bring it to the bedroom with me. I can't believe I forgot about this, just having it in my hands is nerve-racking. My bed is all messy from this morning so it's hard to get comfortable, finally when I do I take a deep breathe and mentally prepare myself for what's about to happen next. I slowly unfold to crumbled piece of paper and start to read.

' You mean that person who may be interested in me, why? Do you know who it is?

I look down to see Peeta's handwriting so beautiful and delicate.

'Me ' paired with a love heart.

Peeta Mellark, I think I'm falling in love with you.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own The Hunger Games and all that crap!**

**If you get a bit confused about the reason why Peeta calls Katniss, 'doctor' or 'my doctor' instead of her proper name. Is because he has had so many before he couldn't be bother learning hers.**

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Chapter 6

Peeta's POV

It's been a very long, long week and it's felt like seven months rather than days. Ever since that note I've been restless, unable to sleep or eat or even talk most of the time. When stuff like this happened at home I could last about a month or two before I finally snapped. In times like this I can't think straight for about four days. I have been drawing constantly the same thing over and over again : Him.

I was given some belongings from the old hospital which is just a bunch of drawings and note pads along with colouring pencils, drawing pencils and water colours. I was going though pages of my drawing pad extremely quickly, I was even using the backs of each page, the only colour I was using was blue for most of my drawing of him. I used them for his beautiful blue eyes. While drawing them I just use a swirling motion because they remind me of the ocean and it's many waves and swirls. I miss him and the ocean, I miss so many things from behind these hospital walls. I miss the sun. I haven't went outside of my room in a week. I haven't even had the energy to open the curtains. Sometimes my doctor does but I demand for her to close them again. My thoughts are all about Cato, I need to make sure I look right for the next time I see him. I can't be this lanky little boy any more therefore I have been eating less to gain less unused fat. However I've been drinking lots of cold water so my hunger is subsided. I have also been exercising vigorously so I can gain more muscle, I understand that it's hard and is going to take awhile but this isn't just to impress Cato; it's also for myself to prove I'm not weak any more.

I was in the middle of doing my third round of press ups when she barged in.

"Get the fuck up you whiny bitch! I'm sick and tired of this "woes me" bullshit!" My doctor shouts at me. Her words bounce off me, like I have grown used to her abusive nature. The use of such profanity isn't uncommon around her. I almost expect it off her. I don't know how she ever became the doctor that she is today. It seems that caring for others is the last thing on her 'things I want to do with my life' list. She doesn't make that much of an effort to even seem nurturing.

I don't listen to her and continue my push ups. I have given myself a daily quota, an exact number of push ups I must do every day calculated from various internet searches. If I keep going the way I am going, I will not seem weak to anyone very soon. No one will ever call me weak again. I'm not going to give he a response. Really, she doesn't deserve one.

"Oh, so you're giving me the silent treatment now?" she challenges. "Purposely giving me a hard time? What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you even doing that? Is that push ups?"

_Give the woman a medal,_ I think sarcastically.

" God it smells like shit in here. Get up and get to the showers, the cleaners are going to clean this place."

When I carry on doing my push-ups, I hear her footsteps slam against the floor as she comes closer to me. My head slammed against the cold tiles underneath me, my head is pounding out of my skull. Even if I couldn't tell which way's up and which is down, I know what happened. My bitch of a doctor had tripped me up by swiping her leg around, knocking me down. Even though I have gotten use to her verbal abuse her psychical ones are something I must learn to deal with. It's not as if this has be a foreign experience, I've grown up with it; I can survive.

Suddenly my hair was griped tightly, pulled and yanked up. A demonic voice whispered to me, " Get up, you lazy, fat ,freak."

Every time she says things like that I wonder does everyone else feel the same way about me, is that the way the world sees me? Does a Cato. As I push myself up my head is having a field day, making me stumble over my own feet.

"For fuck sake." My doctor shoves a pile of clothes in my arms, which I now see are bruised at the fore arms . She also puts her hand around the back of my neck, keeping up a stinging grip on the scruff of my neck as we go through the corridors to reception. Reaching the desk, I feel her grip leave my body while she put on a smile for our audience.

"Hi, I was just checking to make sure Peeta Mellark's room was being cleaned." There was awkward chit-chat between them but I really don't care. I lazily scan my surroundings with their muffled sounds continue however my interest is peaked when I hear a name that has been running though my head for days.

" -Come on, Cato."

I see him and my heart speeds up, my hands start to sweat and all I want to do is to run up and jump on him. He was currently propped up against a wall with a women that I have never seen before. Jealousy boils up inside my veins, she is very pretty. Her hair is raven coloured, tied up neatly without a hair out of place. A sharp and defined face even for a women, her cheeks were lightly dusted with a few freckles and her lips were clearly covered with pink lip gloss. I found it difficult wither she had a good body or not because she was wearing a slightly baggy green pair of scrubs, who is she? I open my mouth to call him or at least say good morning or something, I only got a few syllables before I feel an iron steel grip on my forearm.

"Come on, Peeta. Let's get you cleaned up now." My Doctor says sweetly.

When I look back at Cato he is staring right at me then he does something that made my heart skip a beat. He waved at me. Smiling at me and only me. My cheeks start to warm up like a electric heater, I really want to wave back but my hands are full and the She-Devil is watching. When she noticed what I was looking she puts her hand at my weak point; my neck. "We need to go."

With every step her nails dig deeper, I couldn't wait to get to the bathroom. So I can get away from her if only for ten minutes, my face is nearly slammed into the door before I can even open it. Barely mangling to walk probably and she slams me into every hard, virtual object. Even when I pass through the door, my back is pushed forward.

"What the fuck was that? I let him supervise you for one afternoon and now what your boyfriends, fuck buddies? Wash yourself up you little slut, now!"

Each word she has ever said to me was fine, I was accustom to it but every time she brings up Cato, I can't take it.

"What, are you retarded or something? I never knew when people say they'll fuck your brains out, it really happens." God, she's probably thinking about it right now. Dirty bitch, " It sucks that he's a fag, I mean he would be a good fuck."

Okay. That's it! All I saw was red, nothing else. Her neck was wriggling under my hands, I could feel her straggled breathing. I could see her eyes turning blood shot and bubbling out of her skull. My mind was running a thousand miles per hour. Even when the swung open, people running in and shouting. Hands try to pull me off her but I didn't let go until I hear him.

"Peeta stop, please let go."

My whole body freezes up, even with all the madness his voice wasn't raised. It is calming, gentle and I just want to cry. " Hey, it's me. Cato, remember?" I laugh at how stupidly cute that is, like I could forget. " See, I knew you would. Hey, look at me. Please just look at me, " When I do it's heart breaking because he still has that breathe taking smile on his face. "Just me."

"Can you do me a favour, Peeta." I nod. "Give me your hands ." I don't argue I just do what he says. Slowly my hands untangle themselves from the women's neck to meet his, Cato's hands are even soft; matching his voice and nature. Everything was moving so fast. I haven't touched a person in this way until Cato but as my feelings for him grow so does my cravings for him; his touch. Without even thinking of the consequences , I jumped on him. His body immediately stiffened, when my arms wrap around his neck and my legs doing the same to his waist. To a doctor or an simple observer it looked like I was attacking him, the way I did to my doctor but I'm just using this situation to my advantage.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Cato." When I feel those hands on my body again, I grip onto him tighter. "No!' I scream, "Please I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault. I'm sorry." Someone was still trying to pull me away until Cato finally spoke up.

"Stop! Don't touch him. Take care of her but leave him with me. He's not hurting me, he would never hurt me."

I shake my head to stop my mind from even thinking about it. The other people left eventually lifting my Doctors body away with them. When we are finally alone, he hugs the life out of me.

" Oh, Peeta. What happened today? Are you hurt, did she hurt you?" I bury my face deeper into the crook of his neck. For the whole time I was his arms. I've been chaining the same thing over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault."

I feel him nod, "I know, I know."

He pets my hair as I cry. After a few moments of crying Cato broke me out of it, " Has anyone told you that you smell really bad," I couldn't help but breathe out a faint laugh. "I mean it, like really stink. No wonder your in the shower room."

"It's not like you smell like a rose garden."

Cato's face completely changes for the better when he laughs, crinkles form by his eyes and his cheeks became plumper, even turn a bit rosy. His smile is like no other I have ever seen and I never wanted it to end but I feel really self conscious by his comment; I asked if I could still take a shower.

" Yeah, you could but I would have to be here. That's okay isn't it?"

"Umhm, you need one to anyway."

" Or we could take one together?" I'm so taking back that, I jump about ten feet to look at his face. To see if he is just kidding or be serious. Lord only knew I wanted it to be true, I would be stripping already if it weren't for my body. Riddled with ugly marks, bruises and scares given by myself or others but that's not the only thing, I don't want him to seen my body with flab flying about making him want to throw up. Compared to him I was a beached whale.

"Don't act so horrified, Jesus. I'm only joking I'll have one to myself and you have one to yourself , Okay? But we have to be quick so no one catches us." I nod silently. "Come on, up!"

Reluctantly I untangle myself from his body, trying to stand up on shaky legs. Cato was holding my hand the whole time we were setting up my shower, out of comfort I suspect. While I was picking up my discarded bundle of clothes I was given earlier, Cato forget to warn me that this scene may contain nudity. Being a 19 year old virgin, who has never kissed anyone never mind seen a naked body, I took it well.

"Ahhhhh!" Okay so to Cato's defence he didn't know I was looking so it was completely my fault because he yelled in shock as well, I could tell it was an accident. I intently covered my eyes with my hands, probably looking extremely childish. I hear a little chuckle coming from his general direction and I just want to die, right here and now. Then when I hear a door shutting I stumble and fail at trying to get my clothes off as quickly as I can, without falling over. The room is filled with the echo of steam powered showers, water beating against the walls until I ask.

"Did you go running or something because when I saw you before you looked good, I mean you looked fine. What made you sweat some much."

There was a few moments of silence before he coughed awkwardly, "Well, I saw you earlier, you know at the office? And you looked strange- not in a bad way! You just didn't have your usual glow, well not until you noticed me that is." Oh my God, I can't believe it I must have looked like a complete and utter idiot in front of him. " It was nice, I like the way only being able to see me can make you that happy."

We trip back into that silence but this is different it's more heart- felt and exciting also it gives me time to really let his words stink in. "Anyway, I was worried about you and my mind sort of went into overdrive and started to think of the worst cases scenarios. Then when I get the call about what happened to you, I ran as fast I could; I was so scared. I wanted to make sure you okay, that you weren't hurt. So that's probably why I was sweating so much, Kind of stupid it's it."

My heart was hammering through my skull, my body numb not even feeling the water crashing down on me. While he was saying all of this my eyes were frozen to the thin plastic wall which divides are bodies. We are so close but I want to be closer. Legs moving on their own, heart thumping , blood pumping and hands pushing open his cubicle stall.

"Hello, is anyone there?", Cato asks while turning his head around towards the now opened door. His eyes clamped shut to make sure no shampoo tries to blind him. I take in his one of a kind body and I'm so glad his is the first naked body I have seen because it is beautiful. I take in his muscular back and legs, his amazing ass and the way the water just rolls off it; it's begging me to touch it.

"Cato" I whisper ever so softly. I see that his body jumps about 10 feet in the air at my sudden yet quiet out burst. Slowly stepping forward, like testing the depth of a lake before you jump in, I make my way towards him. My arms once again wrap themselves around his board shoulders, pulling him so close that we could be deemed as one person. I have felt Cato's body but without clothes was new territory, skin on naked skin, isn't just new to me; it's also new to both us. Cato's breathe hitches at my gesture but I can tell his lungs shut down because of what I say next.

" Please don't let them take me away. It wasn't my fault, please believe me"

"Peeta, I would never-" I can feel his body start to twist in my arms. I try to tighten my grip to keep him still but he's too strong, upon seeing my he lets out a grasp. My skin burns with his eyes on me, I want to run and hide. I sink down to the ground curling into myself in a stupid attempt to cover up my shame.

"Peeta look at me." I shake my head, " Please." I shake my head even more rapidly, I can't do this. This was a terrible idea, stupid and terrible, he hates me now. Probably thinks I'm revolting, ugly, worthless, pathetic and down right pitiful. Why would he like me, he hasn't even talked about the message yet, he probably wants to forget it ever happened because he was too sicken by it to even bring up. I was too busy trapped in my own mind that I never even notice that the showers were turn off. I only noticed when I was startled by the towel Cato draped my shoulders with, he was trying to help me get dry. I wonder how long I was out for because Cato is already dressed in a new pair of baby blue scrubs. Also he doesn't look angry at me or upset for that matter, he looks confused and hurt.

" Why?" He asked simply. " Why didn't you tell me or anyone about this!?"

He was currently turned around so I could change, Cato's voice had risen extremely high almost at shouting level, not completely but almost. When it came to questions like this there is only one answer that you can reply with, " I don't know? I'm sorry."

His whole entire body loosens as well as his eyes, "When I first saw them I thought it was self harm, that you were doing this to yourself but then I seen your neck. I wasn't suspicious because it was a strange place and very hard to reach but because the cuts were still bleeding. So they were only a couple of minutes old and your nails are way to short to do this. It was Katniss wasn't it, she did this to you?"

With an explanation like that I didn't even need to answer him, he already knew.

Before I could even process what was happening he took me by the hand, pulling me towards him and out the door. I had no idea where we were going because he took me through the hospital and outside, I think we were headed towards the flower beds. However I was wrong because we ran through the flowers, I tried asking Cato where we were going but he was just giving me grunts as responses. I was getting anxious because we were so close to the boarder of the hospital and we were going to get caught also we were going to get caught together.

When we reached an opening in the trees, he dropped my hand instantly, it flecks at the lack of warmth. As he paces about, I take in my surroundings I don't like new places but this is different. Lake water meets with the soft ground, daisy's grow out of ever nook and cranny making me smile ever so slightly. The air seemed cleaner, fresher and made my lungs feel like new with ever breathe. It was truly a sight to see, looking out on the water and all I could see was blue, never ending blue; Reflecting the sky, clouds and mountains before me.

"Cato, -"

Now the next thing that happens is quite scary yet strangle sight to see. Cato was stomping around, swearing and hitting things uncontrollably . Even though a large part of me was scared out of my mind and a bit annoyed that he was ruining such a pretty seen but I was weirdly faltered by his sudden outburst. He was worried, angry, protective of me. Even though I know it's true I feel like it's too good to be, I don't deserve his emotions or his time but I don't what him to stop.

"Cato, calm down please!"

"I can't!" He shouts back at me.

" Why? Why does it matter, I'm fine. I'm always fine, it's not a big deal!"

Ever since I meet him, spoke to him there was always a question at the back of my mind. One that I wanted to ask but I was always so scared to, " Cato, why do you ever care? I mean I'm not even your patient and I'm that important, I mean you must be getting into so much trouble just being with me now. Especially with the hugging and the shower thing that just happened, I'm sorry for that by the way. I was totally not being a pervert or a horny teenager or something, I promise. "

My long and embarrassing rambling was interrupted by his magical laugh, it was load and full of life. Really bring the casual atmosphere back, I physically relax because of this. I start to smile at this sight, I could look at him all day while he laughs.

When he calms down, he starts to explain, " Okay. First there are no camera's here but you're right I would get in trouble for even thinking about you the way I do. But you know what? Over the last week, I've been thinking about that. . . about us and I realised that I want to treat you like you deserve. I want to get to know you, hold you and I'm scared of losing my job but I'm even more scared that I will lose you because I may lose what could be the best thing that ever happened to me."

My eyes are burning trying to keep back the flood of tears threatening to spill from them. How come every time I'm with him my brain goes all gobble- glob and my stomach became a cage to keep crazy butterflies. I don't even know the first thing about this man, I don't want to jeopardise his job for something that could end in disaster. However I still can't bring myself to say no, to walk away because I want this do happen, I believe this can work if we try.

" I agree. Well, you already know I like you, _like _like you I mean. I want you too, so much. I couldn't stop thinking about you, dreaming of you, drawing you. You have bewitched me body and soul, In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and lov- like you. Sorry sort of had to change the quote, I still mean it though."

Cato's expression gave off the look of joy mixed in with gratefulness. Even when I was talking our bodies unconsciously moved closer towards each other, like waves meeting the shone, it needed to happen. Like a heart needs to beat, a fish needs to swim, a human needs to eat; we needed to try. It feels like we have known each other for years, like my life has lead me to this moment for a reason , like my body was made for his arms and his alone. It's like, " I had to go though all the pain, suffering. Mentally and physically so I could learn to be grateful, to know how to not treat people the way I was treated. . . all of it was so I would have transferred to this very hospital, befriend my friends and most of all; meet you. My knight in shining armor. My . . . Cato."

What he did next was something I wished for since the day I saw him, we were kissing. Okay, so that may have been misinterpreted because it was just a peck but I didn't care; it was an amazing peck. When we pulled apart we both stood there awkwardly not really knowing what to do next until Cato spoke up.

" Sorry, I didn't really know what to do and all. It was your first kiss so . . . "

"I'm not going to break Cato. We already seen each other naked but we can't kiss. Yes, I don't know what to do but I'm a quick learner." I say flirtatiously.

His eyes light up at that as he pulls me closer to him, chest to chest. "You really shouldn't have said that."

I pout at him, " Why."

" Because how am I going to keep my hands off you . . . or should I say lips."

I giggle at his comment with my face flowing like a bright red neon sign. But now I know that he would never say no, I literally jumped at the chance to kiss him. However because I had no idea what to do I let him lead, and he was slow and tender. After watching romantic movie after romantic movie I knew what to do with my arms, bring them up, draping them around his neck. I could feel him smile like a madman and it was so weird to feel it but not see it, it being on my lips. Time passed us by with no regrets, it was true I didn't know how long we stayed out there til we were interrupted by Cato's phone. We broke off after the third beep, " Hello?" I tried to hold back a laugh because of his out of breath voice.

"Of yeah, shit. Yeah. Yeah I know, he just needed to calm down and get cleaned up. Yes, I did it by myself. Because I didn't need anyone else, I have him here. We'll be there in two seconds, calm your tits. Kay, bye."

When he hung up, he lets out a dreaded sigh. I didn't want to go, I never want to leave this moment with him. " I don't want to leave, please. I just want to kiss you."

I can tell that he is contemplating the idea in his head and to help him agree with me. I became daring and began to kiss his neck, it was so much more different than kissing his lips. It tasted different, it tasted a little tangy and smelt like Link's body gel. While doing this my brain was going into overdrive thinking : does he like it? Does it feel good? I'm I even doing this properly. My mind was at rest when I feel his moan vibrating in his throat.

" Peeta", His voice was shaky, making me lean in even harder. Unfortunately he gently shoves me away but I knew by that smile on his face it wasn't because he wasn't enjoying it. " Okay, we really need to go. Please."

I wanted to deny again but when I thought it over, this could ruin Cato's job. I was doing something that I didn't want to, I was effecting his work. So I sadly nodded my head but I wasn't sad for long when Cato kissed me one last time.

"Come on"

We walk together, not hand in hand but still close and warm. When we got into the hospital, we were bombarded by doctors and I was split from Cato by some doctor saying I had to go back into my room. That's all I had to do was sit and wait, wait and wait.

The next few weeks had been just me stuck in my room and having random people questioning me about what happened in the shower room. I was sounding like a broken recorded but obviously I had to twist the truth a little bit and take out the parts about Cato. They told me I was getting a new doctor but I really didn't care, I just didn't want her to come back. Throughout the whole process I hardly got to see Cato again because they were suspicious about the way he acted with me and what happened once we were alone. Thankfully the lack of cameras in the shower room helped to our advantage.

Today was the day I was going to meet my new doctor, he was supposedly just out of university and is very young. He came in with this nurse dressed in a light blue tunic and trainer, he was quite young compared to the other doctors around here. He had short, cooper coloured hair with a thick fringe. He had slightly chubby cheeked which were dusted densely with freckles. I could tell even when sitting down that he was taller than me, he was also wearing green scrubs with black trainers on his feet.

" Hey, I'm Enda Reid. You must be Peeta, I'm going to be your new doctor."

His smile was bright and wide, I was still a bit weary of any doctor here but I guess I have to give him a try.

"Hi."


End file.
